I LOST IT!!!!! But He was there....

The view was gloomy. Was it the view itself or the overall situation that made things gloomy? Nobody likes the feeling of being trapped in a room where the windows will not open, the doors are secured with locks, and people are continuously coming in and out checking on you at all times of the day and night. But then, nobody likes being in the hospital either! The view outside the window was nothing to brag about- just the side of a building and rooftops from buildings below. Where was the beauty in this situation!!?? It was there, you just had to look. [....]
I knew little man (what I call my middle son, Ian) had to have surgery on his tonsils and adenoids. I knew it. But it still did not make me feel any better about it. I know who is in control, God. I know how is the ultimate physician, God. I knew who was watching over him and me, God. I knew all that stuff. But the flesh surrounding me was in full fledged panic mode! There was a period of peace just before we went to the hospital, I wrote about it in, " Out of Control". But the day was here, and I was a wreck! 

It all started the night before. My oldest and youngest sons came down with the stomach bug! That meant dad had to stay home with them while I took Ian to the hospital.

Then the day of surgery on the way to the hospital. He wanted something to drink and of course I could not give it to him! See him pouting! He held on to that Pepsi like it was the last one on the planet. He continuously asked me to open it followed by a, "pretty please!"

It only added to my anxiety that we had to be at hospital at 9 am but they did not come and take him to surgery till after 11. All that time of trying to occupy a little boy who kept saying, "I wanna get outta here." Everytime a nurse came in he would cling to me and say, "I love you mama." Bless his little heart!

The climax of my nervous breakdown came while he was in recovery!

They had came and told me he was out and all went well and that I could come back in see him in a few more minutes. The recovery room nurse came and got me and I asked if he had woke up hunting for me. He hesitated! Then he says, "He did, but all kids wake up hunting their mommy." (I knew there was something more to it when he hesitated!) I walk in the door of this huge recovery room and all I hear is, gasping for air whimpering. I see nurses leaning over one bed with their hands in the bed. I walk a little further and see it is my boy! He was hysterical!

When I get over to where he can see me, he is reaching out for me- sobbing! He was gasping for air  because he was so upset. He only gets that way when he is upset for a while! They sit me down in a wheelchair and placed him in my lap. I LOST IT!! I just about passed out, started sweating PROFUSELY and I puked! Yep I did! I had had all I could take! But then I started seeing that God was all around me!!

What I thought was a catastrophe with my husband and two boys not being able to come to the hospital with us was actually a blessing in disguise. They would not let anyone in under the age of 13 due to the flu season! That means ALL DAY long they would have been sitting in a crummy waiting room. Instead now they were at home!

They took Ian up to his room, and not intentionally, they put him in what they called, "The Kite Room!" That was our last name!! They called it the kite room cause it was decorated with kites everywhere!

Then that night, he got upset and wanted to go home. We found a play room with a car he could ride in while I pushed him up and down the hall! A pot of gold at the end of the rainbow!

Then later at bedtime, he wanted to watch Scooby Doo. He loves Scooby and watches him everynight. We found a pile of DVD's in the play room but NO Scooby Doo. So I got him to settle for a different DVD. We went back to the room, opened the DVD player and guess what was in the DVD player!!! Yep! Scooby Doo!!!!!!! There was no Scooby Doo DVD case ANYWHERE! It was a God thing! So we watched Scooby Doo!

In the end we both got what we wanted. I wanted a safe surgery and God to be there with me. It was and He was! And he got what he wanted, his Pepsi- on the way home! ;)

God is there doing little things to let us know He is there if we will only open our eyes to see them!

Where have you seen God lately?