I realize what I should be doing and I start out of the gate like a bullet. Then I get sidetracked. AHHHHHH!!! Pull out my hair, shut the front door! AGAIN!!???? I started this blog in February 2014, man time flies, and I have KNOWN this is what I am called to. I LOVE to write but then I get sidetracked. I KNOW I am called into ministry, then I get sidetracked, usually with the realization that I am the most unworthy person on the planet to do this. I KNOW that I LOVE to connect with you guys, and then again I get sidetracked, usually when haters wanna hate and cause problems.
However, when I get sidetracked I start running toward something else, looking for happiness. Happiness that doesn't last because it is not what I am called to do. See other things in our lives besides God, things that keep us from our relationship with Him are idols or another word we don't want to use is a drug. Anything can be a drug. Literally anything. For me it has been exercise. Allow me to explain.
Exercise to me is my drug of choice. I didn't realize it until about a year ago. I decided in January 2019 that I wanted to compete in a bikini body building competition. The first red flag for me should have been that I haven't been seen in a bikini a day in my life in public. Did I really think that I was going to be able to put one on and be judged?? (Seems really insane now that I think about it). So I started training, training my tail off. I trained from January until June of 2019 until I ended up on the hospital. They thought I was having a stroke so I was admitted. Long story short, I had hurt myself training. After I was told to stop training so much other things presented as issues. My hormones (female) shut down causing a whole host of issues. Then my adrenal glands shut down and I had absolutely no idea that I could have died until I had some tests ran. So I had to stop all exercise for 3 months. Then it was extended to 3 more months. January of this year I started back trying to slowly train again and issues returned. Bottom line is every time I turn to exercise, to run away from something else, I end up hurting myself physically without even intending too. Too much of anything, including exercise, can be a bad thing.
I have known what my assignment is but in all reality I am scared of it. I am scared to fail. I am scared to succeed. I am scared of haters. I am scared of approval. Just flat out scared of the unknown. But I am also tired of feeling totally alive when I am doing this blog thing and loving it but then giving up on it and myself. Happiness can only be found in God and unless I am in the center of his will- I CAN NOT FIND HAPPINESS ANYWHERE ELSE.
When I say this people often respond, well that isn't to fair of God, not making you happy unless you are in the center of his will. Not true. The truth is, that he wants to bless you wayyyyyy beyond what you can even imagine, whatever your greatest dreams are, God has better. But the only way you can experience that is to do it His way. God is not the mean throwing lightning from heaven God that people imagine He is. If you don't believe me go read the Gospels. Jesus is God in human flesh. Just read about how kind and compassionate Jesus was. Yes, we will have consequences for our actions just like I had physical issues from to much exercise but our past doesn't define our future!
And on that note, we are moving forward on the blog!!! I have been creating some really COOL stuff that will be coming out soon. Right now what you do need to know is that we are going to be starting a new series on PRAYER!! Prayer is where God has been really convicting me and where most of you have come to find this blog, through my free prayer videos and resources. SOOOOOOO here are some details you need to save!
June 15th through June 30th we will have a daily 5-10 minute bible study together here on the blog! Then on July 1st, 2020 I will be releasing a brand new beautiful prayer journal so we can finish 2020 as prayer warriors!!!! No matter how we have done with the beginning of 2020 in our spiritual life, we can make the last 6 months a year of AMAZING growth!!!!
However, when I get sidetracked I start running toward something else, looking for happiness. Happiness that doesn't last because it is not what I am called to do. See other things in our lives besides God, things that keep us from our relationship with Him are idols or another word we don't want to use is a drug. Anything can be a drug. Literally anything. For me it has been exercise. Allow me to explain.
Exercise to me is my drug of choice. I didn't realize it until about a year ago. I decided in January 2019 that I wanted to compete in a bikini body building competition. The first red flag for me should have been that I haven't been seen in a bikini a day in my life in public. Did I really think that I was going to be able to put one on and be judged?? (Seems really insane now that I think about it). So I started training, training my tail off. I trained from January until June of 2019 until I ended up on the hospital. They thought I was having a stroke so I was admitted. Long story short, I had hurt myself training. After I was told to stop training so much other things presented as issues. My hormones (female) shut down causing a whole host of issues. Then my adrenal glands shut down and I had absolutely no idea that I could have died until I had some tests ran. So I had to stop all exercise for 3 months. Then it was extended to 3 more months. January of this year I started back trying to slowly train again and issues returned. Bottom line is every time I turn to exercise, to run away from something else, I end up hurting myself physically without even intending too. Too much of anything, including exercise, can be a bad thing.
I have known what my assignment is but in all reality I am scared of it. I am scared to fail. I am scared to succeed. I am scared of haters. I am scared of approval. Just flat out scared of the unknown. But I am also tired of feeling totally alive when I am doing this blog thing and loving it but then giving up on it and myself. Happiness can only be found in God and unless I am in the center of his will- I CAN NOT FIND HAPPINESS ANYWHERE ELSE.
When I say this people often respond, well that isn't to fair of God, not making you happy unless you are in the center of his will. Not true. The truth is, that he wants to bless you wayyyyyy beyond what you can even imagine, whatever your greatest dreams are, God has better. But the only way you can experience that is to do it His way. God is not the mean throwing lightning from heaven God that people imagine He is. If you don't believe me go read the Gospels. Jesus is God in human flesh. Just read about how kind and compassionate Jesus was. Yes, we will have consequences for our actions just like I had physical issues from to much exercise but our past doesn't define our future!
And on that note, we are moving forward on the blog!!! I have been creating some really COOL stuff that will be coming out soon. Right now what you do need to know is that we are going to be starting a new series on PRAYER!! Prayer is where God has been really convicting me and where most of you have come to find this blog, through my free prayer videos and resources. SOOOOOOO here are some details you need to save!
June 15th through June 30th we will have a daily 5-10 minute bible study together here on the blog! Then on July 1st, 2020 I will be releasing a brand new beautiful prayer journal so we can finish 2020 as prayer warriors!!!! No matter how we have done with the beginning of 2020 in our spiritual life, we can make the last 6 months a year of AMAZING growth!!!!
Remember, just like this plant, it had to die to its old self (its seed shell). It had to be in a very dark place (buried in the dirt or in this picture in hot cracked asphalt). Then it had to rain before the seed could sprout and start growing!
If 2020 has been nothing but darkness, storms and rain for you so far, take heart! The rest of 2020 can be your time to sprout and grow into what God wants you to be!!! God is our spritual sunlight and just like a plant can not grow without sun, you can't grow spiritually without spending time with God- that is exactly what prayer is!!
June 15th-30th will be our study on prayer. July 1st will be the premiere of my new prayer journal!! More details will be announced in the coming days. If you are not yet on my Facebook page or instagram page, please be sure you go check that out! Links for that are on the top right and/or left of the page.
Let's start growing friends!! Much love!!!
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